Don’t Let Your Past or Trauma Define You

The things that hurt you, that caused you pain don’t define you. Nothing that broke you, caused you the most intense damage, deserves the right to define who you are. They are things that happened to you, that evolved you as a person that changed you, but they still don’t get the right to define…

Conversations with My Alters

I have hardened for a reason. There is pain inside. It hurts to let you in. I’m scared of being seen. Yet I long for you to see me. I need to know I’m safe. I need to feel your love. I’ll never let you hurt me again! Once upon a grief stricken word she…

Seek Validation within Yourself

Most of us carry so amazing dreams within ourselves. Dreams that can positively change many lives. Dreams that can make us feel alive and vibrant. Dreams for which we were born. In recent years, I realise no matter where we are right now in our lives, we know deep inside that we have this unspoken…

Stop Abusing Yourself

If you were in a relationship with yourself (and the way you treat/talk to yourself), would you consider it abusive? Would you look at yourself and consider it lucky that you have such an amazing partner, or cringe? Cringe, because you know, if you were truly honest, you wouldn’t date yourself. I spent a large…

My Birthday Wish

On 19th October, I turned 38. Thirty-fucking-eight. And it felt great! 37 certainly brought me a year of growth beyond my beliefs. The biggest heart break of my life until today was the loss of my mummy. And the biggest blessings are the development of the beautiful relationships I have today. I’m richer and wiser…

Codependence Behaviour (No more!)

All my life, I’ve always felt as if I need to give people what they want and need without thinking about or putting myself first. Now, I remember clearly the day I revealed my truth – out through the locked up, suppressed little voice hidden deep down within. It was almost like the clouds parted…

Fear is My Motivation

Wanna know what I can’t seem to overcome? My fear of day-to-day life. My story begins as a young girl. Always anxious, always afraid of the “what ifs”. I was so anxious every second of the day even before I knew what ‘anxiety’ was or that the feeling even had a name. Many years later,…

Introduction to My Alters

Something I’ve always wanted to write about but been avoiding: #1- Survivor Girl. She’s 7. Despite her age, she’s a fighter and survivor. What did she survive? A lot. She’s sassy, funny, and smart. She doesn’t easily trust people. She loves to come out and play. She’s very prim and proper. . #2- Protector Girl….

A Dream with A Lesson

I had a dream. I stood alone in what had been my childhood bedroom – staring at the dresser with a familiar discomfort. My fingers clutched at the handle of the third drawer from the top and pulled hard, straining from the weight of its contents. I reached in with both hands. I felt the…

29 Years

29 years of suppressing my trauma. 29 years of not understanding why the fuck I am the way I am. 29 years of not having my opinions be heard. 29 years of not knowing what’s healthy, what isn’t. 29 years of hurt, betrayal, pain, suffering. 29 years of not knowing what it’s like to be…